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Friends who move
Mar. 15th, 2009 02:13 pmI get that we all want to save a little money. I get where helping a friend out is good. And I get where one would want to avoid paying for professional help on a little in-town move. What I don't get is why almost everyone I've ever helped in this respect is not prepared in the least when I show up!!! I completely understand how much work it is and how it's always more work than you think it will be, but I'd really appreciate it if it looks like you've at least made an attempt when I walk in the door.
This weekend we agreed to help a friend of ours with his move. We owed him BIG TIME from our last move. We stayed with him a week while we were house-hunting and then he stored some of our stuff when we were living in the motels. I also used his place as a bit of a home-base when we first got our house for setting up stuff and communicating with the outside world as it took forever for us to get hooked up with cable and phone. Though we took him out to dinner a few times that doesn't nearly make up for the huge favour he did us. He had only asked for Jason's help, claiming everything would be packed and ready and no big deal, he just needed the van and another body to help with the lifting. I decided to show up anyway because sitting around the house by myself is boring and it's what I do all week anyway, so might as well come out and be social even if I can't be helpful. Little did I know I would wind up being rather useful.
We did have a tiny bit of warning that this was not going to go well when he asked Jason to do one load with him on Friday night so he could re-use the boxes because he "didn't have quite enough". That SHOULD have been translated as "don't have even a third of the boxes I probably should have to do this reasonably".
When we showed up Saturday morning I had to ask myself what he had done packing-wise the night before. There was one ENORMOUS box that Jason had given him the night before (used to hold a lawnmower) that he'd filled with so many DVDs that even two guys couldn't lift it, and that was all that was packed. And this is where things get tremendously frustrating... I can see how that might have seemed like a good idea at the time, and only after loading it would you realize that it was a terrible error, but then repack the stupid thing! There was also the matter of his closet. When I went in to pack his clothes he suddenly appeared with a wardrobe box. It's not like this had been used for anything else in the move, so it wasn't one of the re-used boxes. And it's not like it takes a lot of thought to move the hangers from one rack to another. So why wasn't that done either? To make matters worse, he'd arranged for movers to come and take the larger items (couch, bed, desk and TV), but the deal there was that he had to disassemble it all. So was any of that stuff disassembled and ready to go? Of course not.
The most irritating part of it though, from the point of view of someone who is obsessive about organization and efficiency, is that he seemed to have no idea what to do with us. He's got himself, Rick (another friend, but woefully out of shape), Jason and I. He and Jason are the two most able-bodied individuals in the group. Obviously they should be doing the lifting and carrying. Jason also has GREAT spatial sense and can pack things both tightly and safely, so they should be listening to his recommendations on where to stuff things. Rick can carry some stuff, but was winded about 2 hours into the process, so strictly a light-lifter really. He was certainly capable of doing more (big guy), but rapidly becoming exhausted and whiny, so probably best not to push it. He's also the WORST packer I have seen. Apparently his trunk went half-empty on every one of the 6 or so trips that were made because he couldn't understand stacking. I am, by doctor's orders, not allowed to lift or carry anything over 20 lbs. But I'm well-rested and willing to work if you can just point me in the direction of what you want done.
We walk in the door, stand around staring at each other for ages while James runs around and packs. THIS is what bugs me about helping people move. If you ask for help, you must be willing and ready to DELEGATE!!! If you can't trust us to do anything, don't ask for help. Eventually, out of a desperate desire to finish before midnight, I just started doing things on my own. I had to physically remove the screwdriver from his hands when it came to taking things apart. I was also irritated that he hadn't asked us to bring a drill (I have 2). And of course there's the usual woman-with-tools irritation at men who think we can't possibly get this tool thing because we are women. My rather extensive power-tool filled workshop would put the little tool-kit he'd purchased that week to shame, but of course, I'm "just a girl".
Then there was the fridge. By the time we got to this stage of the move I had quite firmly taken over the whole delegating thing and decided that packing this stuff was something right up my alley. Man, did I ever regret taking on that task. James stood over me nixing and defending food items, and it was ridiculous. I pulled out some hamburger buns that were just starting to grow mold and he started protesting that "he'd only just bought those". I'm thinking he was going to hold on to them and return them angrily to the store. Then I pointed-out the best-before date... Jan 25th. Dude, that's almost 2 full months past expiry. Sure, white bread is crappily un-natural and mold resistant, but it's not eternal! I also pulled out a dozen bagels that had turned entirely green. DUDE!!!! Most of the expiry dates on things in his fridge were 2007!?!?! How could you have that in your fridge and not notice?!?!? And why not address it BEFORE you move, like even last weekend or something?
Anyway, a move I had figured would only take maybe 4 hours at most ended up being a 9 hour exercise in frustration and bad planning. And we didn't even clean anything!!!! This has to have been the WORST move I have ever helped on.
Then to top off a bad day, the restaurant Rick suggested had a half-hour wait when we showed up at 8:30 at night. At this point I was done, so we excused ourselves, picked up some take-out sushi and were home, eating and with the doggies fed and let out before Rick and James probably even got their table. Pfffft to a shitty way to spend a Saturday.
In contrast, let me now tell you about the best move ever. AJ in Edmonton has about the most stuff I have ever seen one person cram into an apartment. When she asked me to help her move I was dreading it, but I love her so there I was, ready and willing to help. When we showed up EVERYTHING was packed and ready to go and neatly stacked near the door. Pushing the couch up the stairs sucked the big one, but everything else was easy-peasy. She had a rented U-haul and two dollies, so her helpers were practically running to and from the van. She had everyone organized and given jobs, and the whole cross-city move was done, the van returned and dinner ordered and eaten before the sun even started to set. The only reason I still agree to help people move is because I'm always holding out hope that I will get another easy job like that. AJ, I salute you!
This weekend we agreed to help a friend of ours with his move. We owed him BIG TIME from our last move. We stayed with him a week while we were house-hunting and then he stored some of our stuff when we were living in the motels. I also used his place as a bit of a home-base when we first got our house for setting up stuff and communicating with the outside world as it took forever for us to get hooked up with cable and phone. Though we took him out to dinner a few times that doesn't nearly make up for the huge favour he did us. He had only asked for Jason's help, claiming everything would be packed and ready and no big deal, he just needed the van and another body to help with the lifting. I decided to show up anyway because sitting around the house by myself is boring and it's what I do all week anyway, so might as well come out and be social even if I can't be helpful. Little did I know I would wind up being rather useful.
We did have a tiny bit of warning that this was not going to go well when he asked Jason to do one load with him on Friday night so he could re-use the boxes because he "didn't have quite enough". That SHOULD have been translated as "don't have even a third of the boxes I probably should have to do this reasonably".
When we showed up Saturday morning I had to ask myself what he had done packing-wise the night before. There was one ENORMOUS box that Jason had given him the night before (used to hold a lawnmower) that he'd filled with so many DVDs that even two guys couldn't lift it, and that was all that was packed. And this is where things get tremendously frustrating... I can see how that might have seemed like a good idea at the time, and only after loading it would you realize that it was a terrible error, but then repack the stupid thing! There was also the matter of his closet. When I went in to pack his clothes he suddenly appeared with a wardrobe box. It's not like this had been used for anything else in the move, so it wasn't one of the re-used boxes. And it's not like it takes a lot of thought to move the hangers from one rack to another. So why wasn't that done either? To make matters worse, he'd arranged for movers to come and take the larger items (couch, bed, desk and TV), but the deal there was that he had to disassemble it all. So was any of that stuff disassembled and ready to go? Of course not.
The most irritating part of it though, from the point of view of someone who is obsessive about organization and efficiency, is that he seemed to have no idea what to do with us. He's got himself, Rick (another friend, but woefully out of shape), Jason and I. He and Jason are the two most able-bodied individuals in the group. Obviously they should be doing the lifting and carrying. Jason also has GREAT spatial sense and can pack things both tightly and safely, so they should be listening to his recommendations on where to stuff things. Rick can carry some stuff, but was winded about 2 hours into the process, so strictly a light-lifter really. He was certainly capable of doing more (big guy), but rapidly becoming exhausted and whiny, so probably best not to push it. He's also the WORST packer I have seen. Apparently his trunk went half-empty on every one of the 6 or so trips that were made because he couldn't understand stacking. I am, by doctor's orders, not allowed to lift or carry anything over 20 lbs. But I'm well-rested and willing to work if you can just point me in the direction of what you want done.
We walk in the door, stand around staring at each other for ages while James runs around and packs. THIS is what bugs me about helping people move. If you ask for help, you must be willing and ready to DELEGATE!!! If you can't trust us to do anything, don't ask for help. Eventually, out of a desperate desire to finish before midnight, I just started doing things on my own. I had to physically remove the screwdriver from his hands when it came to taking things apart. I was also irritated that he hadn't asked us to bring a drill (I have 2). And of course there's the usual woman-with-tools irritation at men who think we can't possibly get this tool thing because we are women. My rather extensive power-tool filled workshop would put the little tool-kit he'd purchased that week to shame, but of course, I'm "just a girl".
Then there was the fridge. By the time we got to this stage of the move I had quite firmly taken over the whole delegating thing and decided that packing this stuff was something right up my alley. Man, did I ever regret taking on that task. James stood over me nixing and defending food items, and it was ridiculous. I pulled out some hamburger buns that were just starting to grow mold and he started protesting that "he'd only just bought those". I'm thinking he was going to hold on to them and return them angrily to the store. Then I pointed-out the best-before date... Jan 25th. Dude, that's almost 2 full months past expiry. Sure, white bread is crappily un-natural and mold resistant, but it's not eternal! I also pulled out a dozen bagels that had turned entirely green. DUDE!!!! Most of the expiry dates on things in his fridge were 2007!?!?! How could you have that in your fridge and not notice?!?!? And why not address it BEFORE you move, like even last weekend or something?
Anyway, a move I had figured would only take maybe 4 hours at most ended up being a 9 hour exercise in frustration and bad planning. And we didn't even clean anything!!!! This has to have been the WORST move I have ever helped on.
Then to top off a bad day, the restaurant Rick suggested had a half-hour wait when we showed up at 8:30 at night. At this point I was done, so we excused ourselves, picked up some take-out sushi and were home, eating and with the doggies fed and let out before Rick and James probably even got their table. Pfffft to a shitty way to spend a Saturday.
In contrast, let me now tell you about the best move ever. AJ in Edmonton has about the most stuff I have ever seen one person cram into an apartment. When she asked me to help her move I was dreading it, but I love her so there I was, ready and willing to help. When we showed up EVERYTHING was packed and ready to go and neatly stacked near the door. Pushing the couch up the stairs sucked the big one, but everything else was easy-peasy. She had a rented U-haul and two dollies, so her helpers were practically running to and from the van. She had everyone organized and given jobs, and the whole cross-city move was done, the van returned and dinner ordered and eaten before the sun even started to set. The only reason I still agree to help people move is because I'm always holding out hope that I will get another easy job like that. AJ, I salute you!
