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Feelings on being pregnant
Pregnancy to me is very much a means to and end. I'm not one of these women who really enjoys each and every little kick as a bonding experience. Heck, when you get right down to it I'm not really that in to the whole baby thing. I'm looking forward to a little person who can talk, and learn, and play with us. It's not that I'll actively dislike the baby experience I don't think, it's just that I'm definitely more jazzed about the next stage, and while I can find other people's kids age 3 and up kind of interesting, I'm not the least bit interested in other people's babies or toddlers.
Getting back to the pregnancy thing... I'm getting the impression that this is a little like being obese. Granted it's all in one spot, so I'm sure there are more ways that being obese sucks, and of course the fact that it's obviously a pregnancy saves me from the external emotional effects of strangers being rude, but it's still enough of an inconvenience that I wonder how the massively obese let themselves get this way and it's having an effect on my psyche. If I had a choice, I'd put an end to this immediately, like if it was a weight problem and not a "having a baby, this comes with the territory" kind of thing. And I want to be clear, this is not like being a little bit heavy, or a bit above average or the "healthy BMI", I am freaking massive.
( intimate stuff that may be TMI behind the cut )
And that is why there are very few pictures of me pregnant. I feel fat and useless. And please don't come out with any of the "you're pregnant and beautiful" baloney. It would be like telling an anorexic girl that she's skinny enough. What you say and how I feel are not related, and what you say isn't going to have an effect on how I feel. You saying it just makes me feel awkward because yeah, duh, I know I'm not fat, I just feel that way. I won't run from a camera, so if I happen to be out somewhere doing the tourist thing and end up in a picture that's fine. I've had pics taken when my sister visited and again when my parents visited. But I am not setting up a photo session just to capture my hugeness, so please don't ask.
Having gotten all that off my chest I think I'm off to putter around the house on some project before I get too large to be able to reach it.
Getting back to the pregnancy thing... I'm getting the impression that this is a little like being obese. Granted it's all in one spot, so I'm sure there are more ways that being obese sucks, and of course the fact that it's obviously a pregnancy saves me from the external emotional effects of strangers being rude, but it's still enough of an inconvenience that I wonder how the massively obese let themselves get this way and it's having an effect on my psyche. If I had a choice, I'd put an end to this immediately, like if it was a weight problem and not a "having a baby, this comes with the territory" kind of thing. And I want to be clear, this is not like being a little bit heavy, or a bit above average or the "healthy BMI", I am freaking massive.
( intimate stuff that may be TMI behind the cut )
And that is why there are very few pictures of me pregnant. I feel fat and useless. And please don't come out with any of the "you're pregnant and beautiful" baloney. It would be like telling an anorexic girl that she's skinny enough. What you say and how I feel are not related, and what you say isn't going to have an effect on how I feel. You saying it just makes me feel awkward because yeah, duh, I know I'm not fat, I just feel that way. I won't run from a camera, so if I happen to be out somewhere doing the tourist thing and end up in a picture that's fine. I've had pics taken when my sister visited and again when my parents visited. But I am not setting up a photo session just to capture my hugeness, so please don't ask.
Having gotten all that off my chest I think I'm off to putter around the house on some project before I get too large to be able to reach it.