Pennsic photos
Aug. 27th, 2005 06:33 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
norsegirlFound a bunch of Pennsic pictures here. And by "a bunch", I mean SMACKLOADS, like 1500+! Sifted through them and managed to find a few shots of me and mine:
Some pics of me and discussions on my fighting at Pennsic
I believe this was near the end of the Mountain Pass battle, Ealdormere was told to fall back and guard the flag. This is during a hold, but I'm doing what I was told, which is why there are no enemies and it just looks like we're relaxing. I was totally in the battle, I just didn't do much.
A close-up - see, look ME!
Earlier in the week I entered a tourney. The "fighting laurel's prize tourney" which I figured would be relatively easy, being most laurels are not knights, but every knighted or apprenticed laurel came out to this thing. In a field of 17 fighters, we had two kings, countless dukes, a handful of knights, a couple of squires and maybe 4 total joes, including myself. Tangwystl sponsored my entry into the tournament and I was really proud to fight for her, but at the same time terrified that I would make a fool of myself and tarnish her honour. She kept telling me how proud she was of me for being brave enough to get out there and I kept feeling like a total fake as I put on my bravado and quaked with fear inside.
The first fight I was mercilessly one-shotted by a duke sir "I'm 7 feet tall and you're a shrimp". I think my second fight was much the same. By the third fight (I think) I finally got to fight someone without a white belt, but I was so disheartened and totally on the defence that he got a walk-through. Pictured below:
At this point Tangwystl had other plans and took her leave from the field, and about now is when Jason made an appearance. The next fight was against a florentine duke. I'd never fought against anyone with two swords before (come on, I've only been to three practices already!) and I didn't have a clue what to do. I got legged, lost an arm, and cried because it was my bad wrist and I was feeling pretty emotional. And called "good" on a head shot he thought wasn't because I needed to get off the field and pop my helm NOW!
Me getting legged
Going down to my knees
Jason had to spend the next while fetching me kleenex while the water-bearers went mad with worry - "I'm not dehydrated or hurt, it's a girl thing, I don't want to talk about it, please go away." Though one of them wouldn't take "go away" for an answer and kindly brought me a cup of ice and that was really relaxing against my face and did help calm me.
The next fight I also lost, and lost it again on my way off the field.
The next fight by some miracle I won. I'm still not sure if I won it or if he gave it to me, but as my usual agressiveness had finally made a reappearance it is possible I found a legitimate opening. And despite winning, I also left the field crying. So now it's not pain, or being disheartened at losing, now it's just pure, raw emotion. Incidentally I fought brifly with him and his brothers (kinda, I drifted a lot not having a unit of my own) in the mountain pass battle. He seemed like a really nice guy. I can't recall his name, but he was a squire in yellow and blue chequey.
I think there might have been one more fight, which I lost. But by the end I had regained my composure enough that I wasn't in tears, though my breathing was probably still all jerky and ragged.
After it was over I had a moment with one of the other female competitors, Marie, who gave me a ring and some words of encouragement. I fought a few pick-ups with her before packing up the armour and calling it a day.
Marie is in the red and white.
I came in last place but still got to pick a prize as all entrants had to also provide a prize. The beads I had made went pretty far down the list of prizes, behind a necklace made of *maybe* some handmade beads and a lot of commercial spacers. I guess in future I should string them if I want them to be more attractive. I got a shuttle for weaving, which I'm not sure I will ever use as the wood it pretty rough and I imagine it will snag the work. Would it be wrong to sand someone else's carving to make it smoother? Should I try to make it a useful piece or keep it as a piece of art (it is quite pretty, even if it isn't practical at this point)?
I was also awarded a pretty knitted pouch for "grace and poise on the field" (according to Jason's recollection, I was too fried to even take it in). I'm not sure if that was sarcasm and/or pity or if they were impressed that I stuck it out and kept coming back despite the tears.
Anyway, it was a good experience overall, but I'm not sure I'll ever enter another battle at Pennsic as it was just too much (and not a lot of real fighting as units, I like being part of a greater whole, not just being a guy on the field with a shield and no direction). Though I might bring the armour again next year so I can at least try the Ironrose tourney. I'd really like to be good enough to place in the newbie tournament.
And finally, I found Brigit in the background of one of the shots:
Some pics of me and discussions on my fighting at Pennsic
I believe this was near the end of the Mountain Pass battle, Ealdormere was told to fall back and guard the flag. This is during a hold, but I'm doing what I was told, which is why there are no enemies and it just looks like we're relaxing. I was totally in the battle, I just didn't do much.
A close-up - see, look ME!
Earlier in the week I entered a tourney. The "fighting laurel's prize tourney" which I figured would be relatively easy, being most laurels are not knights, but every knighted or apprenticed laurel came out to this thing. In a field of 17 fighters, we had two kings, countless dukes, a handful of knights, a couple of squires and maybe 4 total joes, including myself. Tangwystl sponsored my entry into the tournament and I was really proud to fight for her, but at the same time terrified that I would make a fool of myself and tarnish her honour. She kept telling me how proud she was of me for being brave enough to get out there and I kept feeling like a total fake as I put on my bravado and quaked with fear inside.
The first fight I was mercilessly one-shotted by a duke sir "I'm 7 feet tall and you're a shrimp". I think my second fight was much the same. By the third fight (I think) I finally got to fight someone without a white belt, but I was so disheartened and totally on the defence that he got a walk-through. Pictured below:
At this point Tangwystl had other plans and took her leave from the field, and about now is when Jason made an appearance. The next fight was against a florentine duke. I'd never fought against anyone with two swords before (come on, I've only been to three practices already!) and I didn't have a clue what to do. I got legged, lost an arm, and cried because it was my bad wrist and I was feeling pretty emotional. And called "good" on a head shot he thought wasn't because I needed to get off the field and pop my helm NOW!
Me getting legged
Going down to my knees
Jason had to spend the next while fetching me kleenex while the water-bearers went mad with worry - "I'm not dehydrated or hurt, it's a girl thing, I don't want to talk about it, please go away." Though one of them wouldn't take "go away" for an answer and kindly brought me a cup of ice and that was really relaxing against my face and did help calm me.
The next fight I also lost, and lost it again on my way off the field.
The next fight by some miracle I won. I'm still not sure if I won it or if he gave it to me, but as my usual agressiveness had finally made a reappearance it is possible I found a legitimate opening. And despite winning, I also left the field crying. So now it's not pain, or being disheartened at losing, now it's just pure, raw emotion. Incidentally I fought brifly with him and his brothers (kinda, I drifted a lot not having a unit of my own) in the mountain pass battle. He seemed like a really nice guy. I can't recall his name, but he was a squire in yellow and blue chequey.
I think there might have been one more fight, which I lost. But by the end I had regained my composure enough that I wasn't in tears, though my breathing was probably still all jerky and ragged.
After it was over I had a moment with one of the other female competitors, Marie, who gave me a ring and some words of encouragement. I fought a few pick-ups with her before packing up the armour and calling it a day.
Marie is in the red and white.
I came in last place but still got to pick a prize as all entrants had to also provide a prize. The beads I had made went pretty far down the list of prizes, behind a necklace made of *maybe* some handmade beads and a lot of commercial spacers. I guess in future I should string them if I want them to be more attractive. I got a shuttle for weaving, which I'm not sure I will ever use as the wood it pretty rough and I imagine it will snag the work. Would it be wrong to sand someone else's carving to make it smoother? Should I try to make it a useful piece or keep it as a piece of art (it is quite pretty, even if it isn't practical at this point)?
I was also awarded a pretty knitted pouch for "grace and poise on the field" (according to Jason's recollection, I was too fried to even take it in). I'm not sure if that was sarcasm and/or pity or if they were impressed that I stuck it out and kept coming back despite the tears.
Anyway, it was a good experience overall, but I'm not sure I'll ever enter another battle at Pennsic as it was just too much (and not a lot of real fighting as units, I like being part of a greater whole, not just being a guy on the field with a shield and no direction). Though I might bring the armour again next year so I can at least try the Ironrose tourney. I'd really like to be good enough to place in the newbie tournament.
And finally, I found Brigit in the background of one of the shots:
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Date: 2005-09-04 03:09 am (UTC)how much of things escalating was building frustration on both sides?
folks telling you helpful hints was frustrating you, and they were likely getting frustrated watching and trying to help in the only way they could... i undertsand about the using the hips issue. in my brief stints with fighting, i have fruustrated gunther, and other notables... i just don;t get the motion. doesn't sink into my brain pan. no matter how much practice i got. even having one cahp hold my hips and move them for me.(boy there was a photo op). the guys tend to turn of their ears when this simple thing gets ignored... and i can see where tensio and frustration would build.
glad to know i am not being a pain :) i do tend to worry about such things.
i did take the liberty of mentioning some of this to yog. his first comment was... well what did she expect? i sputtered. he went on th epoint out the one's expectations going into stuff can affect how happy one is with how things turn out. a prize tourney is usually a fairly serious thing. and few fighters tend to be light about fighting to begin with. he went on for a great length talking about his issues with fighting and how his approach to tourneys has given him grief because he takes a different tack than most.
i find that yog usually has interesting insights into the headspace of fighting. likely his background in sports. and i suspect whenever you want to talk to him he would be happy to do so. i will ask him if email is an option, if you are interested.
if you want to go the video route, okay. but i suspect that you likely have decent teachers out there. it's just that learning a different system of moving takes a while sometimes. the movements in fighting are different. just like learning to dance, i guess. i started a dance class a while back (it's gotten put on the shelf at the moment) but i always giggle, because i know i have no where near the sesnse of co ordination that others do. some teachers get frustrated and over helpful. others understand that i am there for the fun, and i realize that i have a longer learning curve than most of their other students.
having someone you care watch creates performance anxiety. pure and simple. and yog would likely talk about the tourney mindset and headspace, because i gather it's a different thing than fighting in a battle, melee, or fight practice. more pressure and some thought processes get impaired. perhaps the differnece that you are sensing?
i am wondering what the difference in having someone you know fighting makes? did not having that make the experience more unknown and scarey (if only on a subconscious level)?
ananlyzing your reactions is the first step to understanding them. i have had way too many therapy sessions about stuff in my life :) once one starts to recognize what the triggers are, one can start to analyze why they are triggers. and it sounds like you are already doing that. next is figuring out how to cope and overcome them. and trying to do so. but identifying is half the battle. the rest is not easy, but downhill comparatively speaking.